Wednesday, January 18, 2006

50 MORE THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME

51. More often than not, I don't find stand-up comedy or jokes funny. When someone's trying that hard to be funny, the result is usually a let-down.

52. Valentines' Day is the worst day of the year. Cheesy if you're dating and depressing if you're single. You just can't win.

53. I placed 3rd in the juniors division of a regional archery tournament.

54. My nose used to bleed incessantly as a child. Head over sink for 2 hours style bleeding.

55. The vast majority of people in the world are O.K. in my book.

56. Monopoly is the greatest game ever created. Chess and Uno aren't half bad, either.

57. I'm not a drinker; when the occasion calls for inebriation, however (as outlined in #52 for instance), I will opt for a Bellini, Gin & Tonic, or a Vodka/Red Bull.

58. My bottoms never fit right because I'm 5 foot 1. And my a** is too big for Gap Kids.

59. My least favourite day of the week is Sunday. It's unproductive, there's nothing on TV, and Monday is increasingly imminent. I love Fridays.

60. I have no sense of direction. At all. Almost every time I fly, I can't find my seat after I use the toilet.

61. I don't think anyone benefits from foundation. (A tinted moisturizer and lip balm go a long way.)

62. I got my PADI scuba diving license when I was 9 (Member # 0000001). I don't dive anymore, because I start thinking I can't breathe and I panic.

63. Best condiment for fries/chips: vinegar. Failing that, ketchup covered in black pepper.

64. My mother's marmot committed suicide by hanging itself in its cage with a piece of string. While that's not exactly about me, it should give you an idea of the kind of stock I come from.

65. If ever I meet a man who wears Burberry Touch, I might want to date him just for that. Although my near-canine sense of smell prevents me from wearing perfume myself, once in a while I'll spritz on an eau de toilette or slather on a scented moisturizer. As for what I use, I'm not telling.

66. I once lived in a tiny studio right on Manhattan Beach, CA. I watched the sunset on the beach every day, and the waves lulled me to sleep every night.

67. Worst Habits: Talking Before Thinking; Smoking; Occasional Nail-Biting; Anger-Induced Insanity; Sleeping Late; Overindulgence; Falling In Love With A Figment Of My Imagination.

68. Sometimes, I have prophetic dreams.

69. Reasons I Hate Tokyo: rush hour train, macho metrosexuals, ugly cityscape (especially at Christmastime), thoughtless trendiness, outdated gender roles, lack of imagination/individuality, stifling social restraints, rubbish weather, prices, earthquakes, scarcity of English-language books, homogeneity and general drabness.

70. Reasons I Like Tokyo (and this is much more challenging): the food, the service, my friends, 4 distinct seasons, relative safety, vending machines. Hm. Let me get back to you on that one.

71. The first time I ever went to Montreal, I was turned away at the border because they thought I had a fake passport. (They asked me if I was Mexican.)

72. I'll try most things once.

73. Yes, I am one of those tightasses who write letters of complaint to companies that fail to do what I am paying them to do.

74. No matter how empty it is, my fridge always contains at least 3 different types of cheese (excluding those of the blue ilk).

75. By my estimation, I wear jeans 348 days of the year.

76. I am photograph-phobic. Not to be confused with photophobic, although I admit I'm not big on bright lights either. I'd love to live in a cave decorated in fairy lights.

77. Every summer, my freckles double. While they calm down noticeably come winter, they are definitely increasing, year on year. I worry that one day they will all run into each other, and I will end up with a big, brown face.

78. People ask me which actor I think is hot. Truth is, I can't take actors seriously. I've met too many to think they are actually that attractive in real life. (Footballers, musicians, and painters are a different story altogether.)

79. When it comes to nail polish, it's pearly white, fire-engine red, the darkest wine, or nothing at all.

80. One summer, when I lived in Florence, I knocked down a mile-long queue of parked motorini like a row of dominoes. My most cringingly Mr. Bean moment to date.

81. I hate my laugh, which varies from a loud, fake-sounding "ha!" to a creepy, quiet, asphyxiation-noise akin to the wheezing of an asthmatic hyena (I would imagine).

82. Before I die, I would like to get one proper love letter, composed in the style of Nick Bantock's brilliant Griffin And Sabine.

83. In London, I once worked at a company where I was hired because my supervisor thought I would "look good in a miniskirt" (and had the gall to tell me so). This is the same place the toilet overflowed because someone shat himself and flushed down his pants, to destroy the evidence. I need a whole post to cover the subject of said London company. P.S. I don't look good in miniskirts, actually.

84. Every night, I need to look up and say hello to the moon. It's got to be done.

85. I love staying in hotels. Even after seeing all those horrifying exposes about how filthy hotel rooms are.

86. All of my money goes to books and plane tickets. I go clothes shopping twice a year, and I never understood most women's near-pathological interest in shoes.

87. Best Habits: Regular Blogging; Constant Project Planning; Incessant Meditation; Positive Thinking.

88. I'm always freezing, and therefore, share a deep emotional bond with my hot water bottle (purchased 2 winters ago at Boots, 5 quid).

89. I totally don't understand how anybody would meet someone at the gym.

90. I don't feel like myself when I speak Japanese. I feel like someone imitating someone else who is Japanese.

91. When my insomnia was at its worst, I slept between 45 minutes and 4 hours a night. That continued for 4 years.

92. I wore the same uniform from age 2 until age 17: white shirt, navy blue V-neck jumper, blue-green plaid pleat-skirt, navy blue socks, brown loafers. Except for the last 4 years, during which the V-neck was the ugliest shade of maroon you can imagine.

93. Nobody makes me bust a gut laughing like my mother does.

94. I'm a sucker for younger guys with rugged good looks and musical ability (and major personality flaws, evidently).

95. The only comic book I ever read growing up was The Rose Of Versailles, a mock-historical saga revolving around the life and times of Marie Antoinette. I hoped I'd grow up to marry someone like Oscar, a woman posing as a male guard of Antoinette. Side note: I'm unmarried as yet. Surprise!

96. Y'all won't believe this, but some of the best food I've ever had was cooked in London. (Some of the worst food, too.)

97. I spent a week in Hiroshima with Stevie Wonder as his personal interpreter. Highlight: getting a personal a capella concert in the back of a limo. (He may be the nicest, warmest, mellowest man alive.)

98. I've had 4 dogs, 2 goldfish, and a cat. None of them came from a pet store.

99. Favourite household chore: washing dishes. Least favourite household chore: hoovering.

100. Daily Use Phrases: "Oh. My. God."; "I'm STAAARVING."; "Hunh?!"

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Linked onto you from Teahouse.Enjoying your blog. My mother is Japanese (from Osaka)and my father is
German. Unfortunately i never learned how to speak japanese. Regardless, everything about Japan interest me and I enjoyed reading your blog. Keep posting! Thanks

5:00 AM  
Blogger e! said...

Hey, thanks for checking in!
German-Japanese is a great mix. I knew a few boys who went to the Deutsch School here back in the day and they were...mmm. Anyway, there is much more Japan info to come!

Hapa haolis unite...
(Though technically I'm only a quarter haoli - but I don't know that there is a term for that.)

12:36 PM  
Blogger teahouse said...

That Stevie Wonder story is AWESOME!!!

Speaking of whom, one of my friends was once staying at the same hotel as he was in Hawaii. And she said she saw him 2 days in a row, and both days he was wearing the same shirt. She felt bad, because she thought it meant either: (1) he had a closet full of the same shirt; or (2) his assistants were playing a joke on him.

1:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I cant Believe you never told me about Stevie !!!!! I LURVE him, whenever I am depressed I listen to "blame it on the Sun" a million times and although this makes me more depresssed I love it, I love wallowing in the tears. We humans need to enjoy that side of ourselves more. Oh I saw Brokeback Mountain the other day and balled like a baby, it is a GREAT film...tee hee
Cha x x

9:11 PM  
Blogger e! said...

Hurrah, more comments!
Should've known I just needed to drop Stevie Wonder's name to increase site traffic...(^o^)

The Stevie job was the highlight of my career. (Which went down the tubes thereafter, as you've read elsewhere on this site.)

When Laserdiscs first came out, we owned 3 discs: Prince's "Purple Rain", "Logan's Run", and "We Are The World: USA For Africa". (NOT MY CHOICES, PEOPLE.)

I wasn't allowed to watch Pervy Purple Rain, and "Logan's Run" was just plain sh*tty. So I watched "We Are The World" until it was so scratched it wouldn't play anymore. I always loved Stevie Wonder and Michael Jackson the best. (We also had the "Thriller" music video on Beta.)

To meet my childhood idol in the flesh was really friggan amazing. Usually it's a let-down, but Stevie's special. Whatta guy.

1:58 AM  

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